Yah.
........
Anyway, I've been shuff-tuffling through my iTunes instead of playing play lists or specific bands; it's pretty nice listening to songs I haven't heard in a long time...and songs that I haven't heard yet. It also makes me remember particular times in my life that have stuck to a song and trigger memories. For example, I am currently listening to a song by the band Edison Glass and their whole album itself made me remember falling asleep to their play list every night in my brother's room, since he was out at boot camp.....them, along with the Myriad's newest album reminds me of missing my brother because I was alone without my sibling...I had music playing to make me sleep because I needed something to fill the absence =/. Of course my iPod could never replace my Kuya [duh.], but that was one thing I did, along with playing dvds and sleeping through them only to wake up to the menu screen playing for the gazillionth time. It makes me sad thinking about those memories....but I'm happy that even when my brother was away for a long time, I had friends at church to encourage me and always make my day. It was a blessing that I could fellowship with these wonderful people and I'm glad I was able to. There was a time after that where I thought I caused something to happen that made me fall back a little and become pretty discouraged and left me wondering about it. That passed though, so I was fine again until school started where I began to feel that distance again =/. Maybe it's just me, or maybe I did do something, but whatever it is, I would definitely like to find out. I know it can't be that hard to do---I mean, I can just turn around and have it said to my face and not my back. BUT with said things put aside, I'm glad for people who still make me feel friendtacular and welcomed still even though I'm gone the whole week.
I would want to have two kinds of conversations: One that is to my face and not so literal...but...you know...like honest to my face. Second would be the one where we would just talk talk. Not surface level, but deep like an abyssal crater of epic proportions. I miss having long talks that aren't all jokes and random stuff. I think about those times that that's happened and I always wonder if anyone else who was there would remember them also....like the one in Denny's late at night after a coffeehouse, the one at Denny's after a Revo when we sat a booth, the worship team retreat, the other time at Denny's that included the funny "preposterous" bit, the Murrieta house, and nights during VBS and throughout summer of '08. Lately, I've been pretty withdrawn or aloof, and for lack of better terms, a little cautious of things I might suggest or say. Of course I'm not always going to be like that, no, for that is not good. Ugh. I don't knowwwwwwwww. I didn't mean to rant or anything, but I had to express it somehow =X. Heh and I was so close to telling a particular something, but it was wrong timing so I didn't. I was waiting until it got better, but it didn't, so nothing has happened yet. Man. I don't even know if I'm making any sense, but it's okay because the vent is open...kind of.
AH.
Soo....I was thinking about jogging tomorrow/today...but it's like 230am already....so I probably won't =]
I have much to do with my good friend Illustrator, but my buddy Creativecious-ness has deserted me and I don't know how I'm going to put together the next flyer. Boo. Bleh. We shall see.
=] Thanks all
No comments:
Post a Comment